he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Pooping to opera.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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