whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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