Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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