Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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