so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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