Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
