I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
