I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
