would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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