how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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