Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
