This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize