coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
