My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
