Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We have started to decorate penises.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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