Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Green mimosas i think yes
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
