the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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