Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
the liver wants what the liver wants
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
