You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
