You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
