Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my liver is dry heaving
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