yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
