Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
