i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
