do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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