So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
