I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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