You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
