Where is the hickey?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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