i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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