Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
