i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
