hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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