if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.