Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.