i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
