Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
