Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You can't just leave with hair like that
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
