Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
