it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
