I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hippo gnu deer
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i believe in u and ur pee
I wear drunk well.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
