I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
