Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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