I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
everyone is single if you try hard enough
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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