An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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