Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
