Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i came on her dog
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
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