Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
