Who wears a wallet chain?!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
