We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
