He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
