That's intense
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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