dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
