Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
