Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
