one might say we're banned from that church
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
