we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
