just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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