I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
