I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
