is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Im part way to drunk.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
