But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize