Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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