Its about making memories worth repressing
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
