I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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