I think im going to throw up on grandma
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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