I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
