Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
