You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
